Technology Moves Quick

It's December 17th, 2016.

It's been exactly eight years since my last post and about eight years and thirteen days since my last record store review.

Sorry to lag on posting, but time sure does fly, when you're busy....for these past eight years I have been involved in the highest ranks of the NASA Space Program working on a very top secret mission that will only be unveiled now via this blog; thanks in part to funding from the United States federal government and North Korea we at NASA were able to build a super rocket that propelled myself and two other astronauts out of our galaxy and into another inhabited galaxy of living, breathing space creatures. That's right everyone extraterrestrials.

Currently I am living on the planet Gorgonzoid which is ruled by the Queen Emperor Zygatah--the giant man, woman, serpent cow. Things are much different here, but rather than go on and on about the mundane day to day of flying cars, lazer sword duels, or soul sucking fire breathing dragondroids on planet Gorgonzoid, how 'bout I jump back into the old format and let you in on a little record store gold...shall we?


The Place: Xirete's Musical Download Port
Biased Rating:2/10

Ok. So I've been into some pretty weird places in my day, but nothing could have prepared me for Xirete's Musical Download Port located in the beautiful city of Yewik on the planet Gorgonzoid. At first sight the inside of the store looked like it could yield something positive. There were hundred and hundreds of rows of beautiful shining racks full of pure wax vinyl magic....heaven. Feeling oddly optimistic and a little confused as to why this place was so in tune with what I was looking for I went to the first worker droid I saw and asked where the punk section was.

After being pointed in the right direction and making it to the section I began hunting and to my surprise was flooded with great find after great find; minor threat first pressing, a bad brains test press!? This is unreal. After hours and hours of this I finally made my way up to the checkout counter to buy my priceless records. Once at the counter I gave my records to the droid clerk who put the records aside, picked up a USB zip drive gun and jammed it into the back of my head and uploaded into my brain the newest song by Droid singing sensation ZWZA. ZWZA sounds like what I imagine a wookie sounds like when giving birth. Not cool. After this I was kicked out of the store and charged 414,535,234,00 ENA to my credit card, which is roughly equivalent to thirty US dollars.
Xirete's Musical Download Port takes a scan of your brain when you walk into their store to find out what your ideal record store would be; then, they produce a hologram to dupe you into buying something you don't want. Pretty elaborate scheme for such a little profit...stupid droids.

So, If you're ever in Yewik Do NOT go to Xirete's Musical Download Port.

That is all.